The Infallible "6×6 Mukarar"

The inexcusable riots of Thursday were NOT because Hezbollah’s fans lack sense of humor. It is a self evident truth that all Lebanese sexes, sects and parties share a common trait of having the humor of a pea by burning shit.

Just sample “Bass Mat Watan” or “La Youmal” or “Abou Salim” or etc and you will see what I mean. This goes to prove that they are one people in one nation under one cedar.

The chaos was NOT the result of violating Article 7 of the Audiovisual Law, no matter how deep this may sound. It was NOT because of the other law that prohibits messing around with Clerics and Sheikhs was violated. Although those in favor of this excuse verify it by saying that leaders of Hezbollah were satirized before on the same show and there were no disturbances.

Was it then because the show “insulted the symbol of the resistance and its leader”? My answer is also NO. Although shirtless, screaming 16 year old Abbas insisted that this was the reason. But his actions were more insulting than the satire.

And of course Minister Mouawad’s assertion that this was an invasion of Beirut is a typical form of the Lebanese sense of humor.

As for Sami Jummayel’s claim that this was barbarian Shiite attack on the civilized and highly cultured Christian Monot street of Achrafieh and the rebuttal of Minister Fatfat that on the contrary the greater and more serious attacks were in Tarik el Jdedeh and Kola area, with their high density of Sunni population and some Druze, well, I think these will just be the excuses that will tickle and please the very troubled president Bush.

My theory is that the riots took place because the infallible law of “6×6: repeat if you bleeze” was not implemented, a law that Minister Fatfat seems to understand and implement quite well these days.

The process is simple, if you are going to satirize a sheikh or a sayyed or a priest from sect A you should simultaneously satirize a clergy or a sheikh, of equal stature and standing from sect B and C and D etc. or you must contact the other TV stations and tell them of your plans so they can reciprocate by satirizing a sheikh or clergyperson of equal stature at the same time.

The question left now is: Who is the equivalent of Nassrallah in each of the other components of our grand Lebanese bowl of fattouch?

6 comments

  1. Dr Victorino de la Vega · · Reply

    Beyond his debonair look of gentle Tripolitan technocrat, Interior Minister Ahmad Fatfat is in fact a very vicious Neo-Hambali terrorist on a mission to return the “infidel land of Lebanon” to the Khalifornian fold. In that, he is perfectly aligned with the “Wahhabi-Lite” project of the Hariri mafia family: to progressively “purify” Lebanon and Syria from the “sullying” presence of dirty “Nasarah” (Christians), evil “Associationists” (Shiites, and ‘Alawites), and secular Sunni moderates. Fatfat and his radical Islamist friends can also count on the enthusiastic support of many useful idiots such as Brushing Gemayyel Jr. and Cardinal Sfeir who are blinded by their hatred Syria and Iran. Poor Lebanon.

  2. Bashir · · Reply

    Poor Lebanon indeed, Vic.

  3. the perpetual refugee · · Reply

    Bashir, the question that I ask myself is not who the Nasrallah’s equivalent is but rather what is Nasrallah to begin with?A politician at the head of a powerful POLITICAL block or a cleric?My view is that every politician is fair game, whether they’re men of the cloth or not. Once you step into the political arena, you are fair game. And Nasrallah is a politician first and cleric second.If Sfeir chooses to start a political party, he’d be fair game too.

  4. notorious · · Reply

    one mistake leads to another, but i think if u trace em all the way bak, the first mistake is to have a sheikh go into politics, religeon and politics should b to very dif very seperated things..

  5. notorious · · Reply

    u knaw, this guy i knaw wrote this song, it was so… “ziad el ra7bani” , and no matter how peaple think hes a litle newyork rapper wana b.. just read it :shu ya3ni inno hal balad ma bi7i2lo yirtei7 yawmein? ya3ni el karami el amen saro so3bi ktir yilti2yo 3anna shu nos se3a? lei? lik yil3an 7azzi hal balad shu 7elo! ya 7abibi ya leben, w kiss ekhet el 7asad, ra7it 3anna hal 2ishe3a samuya el 7arib el ahliyi, wel 2ize3a kil nos se3a, fi tasari7 wataniyi, ma 7adan msada2na ttafa2na,lakin ni7na walla shta2na, lal karami w lal siyadi w la ra7it el beil la rabbi wledi, mish 7abib ontor akhbar, la beleil w la binhar, w lazem inno wa7do rasi yfadi afkar el ta3asi,mnitnesa 2iyem el 7arb, ta ni2dar nkafi el darb, ana mo3arada w int muwelet, we7yetak ana akhir hammi, in kinti 3awni aw 2uwet, manak min la7mi w min dami, w kenet amal aw hizbala, ma tnaynetna mni3bad allah, ta3a nodrob kesak b kesi w nitriklon hini el siyasi, khidna ma3ak 3a salat el jom3a, wel a7ad bsam3ak 2idasi, ana w inta bi7i2ilna, nit3araf 3al 2arod li 2ilna, bi7i2ila hal neis el mithajra tneim w ma tkhaf min mitfajra, bi7i2li 3abi benzen w ma shuf mazahir amniyi, w ma 7ada ysofni 3al yamin, ma sada2na tol3o el suriyi, sorit mrakab alef 7ajiz w ma 2deret tikshof wala 3ubwi, 7aji 3amil 7alak 3ajiz w int 3arifa b 2aya 2abwe, el neis jayi 7ata tishar fakarit 7ala b mu3askar, shili 7awejez el tiftish ana bi7i2ili 3eesh… bi7i2ili ishar bel batrun bala ma wa2if 3al madfun, w ma daruri fut bel 7ezeb ta 2i2dar kazdir b 2amyun, bidi iskar 3ala el mina w ma yiji 7ada y3abina,w ana w 3am bi7dar star acedemy yitla3li lika2 3ein el tina, shta2na lal ba7bu7a shta2na, el 7arami sar lazem yifri2na, min ba3ed ma fadda el khazini byitdayan 7ata yisri2na, dein el 3am saffa 40, ya mashala shu 7ilween, ma t7oto el 7a2 3al shaheed, ma kil el balad 3arif meen, 7abib shuf rjel el dine, ma byit3ato geir el dine, w ma 7ada y2ul 3anna 3ilmani wala shuyu3e wala shi tani, leish el 3alam kheyefe ymasho el zawej el madani, ana el fikir el ta2fi biwa2ifli sha3er badani, bi7i2ili ekhod min geir tayfe, we7di tanyi w mana khayfe, w shu kein 3abali ya reit, law bti2bal rana 2laylet, kenet b7is abel mamete , ma3na el 7ob ya 7eyete,w 7aji falafil w mna2ish ana bi7i2ili 3eesh,

  6. r m taylor · · Reply

    Sad but lovely pixs of Beirut. Like “the afternoon of a coup.” Since the 1960’s my favorite city in the world. I had planned to visit this fall during my teaching at An-Najah University Nablus.Maybe next year in Beirut.Bob Taylor

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