Call that humiliation?

No hoods. No electric shocks. No beatings. These Iranians clearly are a very uncivilized bunch.

This is an article written by Terry Jones for the Guardian that I like to share with you.

His article is a satire that does an excellent job in exposing hypocrisy.

“I share the outrage expressed in the British press over the treatment of our naval personnel accused by Iran of illegally entering their waters. It is a disgrace. We would never dream of treating captives like this – allowing them to smoke cigarettes, for example, even though it has been proven that smoking kills. And as for compelling poor servicewoman Faye Turney to wear a black headscarf, and then allowing the picture to be posted around the world – have the Iranians no concept of civilised behaviour? For God’s sake, what’s wrong with putting a bag over her head? That’s what we do with the Muslims we capture: we put bags over their heads, so it’s hard to breathe. Then it’s perfectly acceptable to take photographs of them and circulate them to the press because the captives can’t be recognised and humiliated in the way these unfortunate British service people are.

It is also unacceptable that these British captives should be made to talk on television and say things that they may regret later. If the Iranians put duct tape over their mouths, like we do to our captives, they wouldn’t be able to talk at all. Of course they’d probably find it even harder to breathe – especially with a bag over their head – but at least they wouldn’t be humiliated.

And what’s all this about allowing the captives to write letters home saying they are all right? It’s time the Iranians fell into line with the rest of the civilised world: they should allow their captives the privacy of solitary confinement. That’s one of the many privileges the US grants to its captives in Guantánamo Bay.

The true mark of a civilised country is that it doesn’t rush into charging people whom it has arbitrarily arrested in places it’s just invaded. The inmates of Guantánamo, for example, have been enjoying all the privacy they want for almost five years, and the first inmate has only just been charged. What a contrast to the disgraceful Iranian rush to parade their captives before the cameras!

What’s more, it is clear that the Iranians are not giving their British prisoners any decent physical exercise. The US military make sure that their Iraqi captives enjoy PT. This takes the form of exciting “stress positions”, which the captives are expected to hold for hours on end so as to improve their stomach and calf muscles. A common exercise is where they are made to stand on the balls of their feet and then squat so that their thighs are parallel to the ground. This creates intense pain and, finally, muscle failure. It’s all good healthy fun and has the bonus that the captives will confess to anything to get out of it.

And this brings me to my final point. It is clear from her TV appearance that servicewoman Turney has been put under pressure. The newspapers have persuaded behavioural psychologists to examine the footage and they all conclude that she is “unhappy and stressed”.

What is so appalling is the underhand way in which the Iranians have got her “unhappy and stressed”. She shows no signs of electrocution or burn marks and there are no signs of beating on her face. This is unacceptable. If captives are to be put under duress, such as by forcing them into compromising sexual positions, or having electric shocks to their genitals, they should be photographed, as they were in Abu Ghraib. The photographs should then be circulated around the civilised world so that everyone can see exactly what has been going on.

As Stephen Glover pointed out in the Daily Mail, perhaps it would not be right to bomb Iran in retaliation for the humiliation of our servicemen, but clearly the Iranian people must be made to suffer – whether by beefing up sanctions, as the Mail suggests, or simply by getting President Bush to hurry up and invade, as he intends to anyway, and bring democracy and western values to the country, as he has in Iraq.”



  1. Mustapha · · Reply

    Moussa, The Iranians are just taking care of precious ‘goods’. If you have a hostage that you are likely to get a lot of money/attention/leverage for giving back, of course you would treat them well. It would be stupid if you don’t.It is beside the point to compare their treatment with that of P.O.Ws. It would be even sillier to reach conclusions as far-reaching as the fact that the Iranians are more humane with their captives.The Iranians treat their own citizens brutally. The only reason they are being nice with the Brits (who unlike the Iranians care very much for their own citizens) is because they are going to benefit from the them sooner or later.

  2. I don’t think the question asked should be “why” the Iranians are treating the British captives so “rightly” when the British and American scandals in both Iraq and Au Gheib arouse, I think the author of the article does not know how racist and colonial he is!!He used sarcasm all trough the article except on the very last one to “lessen” the dictator and human rights violations practiced by “civilized” US and GB which are themsleves accused to Iran as the “uncivilized”.By mocking their practices he lessens the practice itself to highlight Iran’s “not –proving guilty” as guilty.They are never guilty even when they are, and Iran is always guilty even when it is “right”!The very last paragraph is over colonial, invading countries is a profession of “civilized” countries and human rights protectors. He speaks of invading Iran as a piece of cake..and he again, still glowing with “their” democracy after naming every single scandal they’ve made. This is an absolute ignorant B!!!

  3. the rambler · · Reply

    Sham, the last paragraph was a prime, masterful example of sarcasm.Mustapha, get over yourself – the guy’s damn funny, spot on and far more sympathetic than your brand of ram-down-throat, usually sectarian rhetoric. So you consider the Iraqi, Afghan and other poor fucks worthless “POWs”? Are you legitimising illegal invasions as “war”. You’re typically misguided, even if you do make a half-decent effort to disguise your ignorance in semi-literate rantings. Michael Totten and Tiny Badran would be proud. But then, I’m sure you know that.

  4. Dr Victorino de la Vega · · Reply

    Hi MB,Superb article indeed.I’ve always been a fan of Monty PythonBelow are two of the greatest lines they wrote (in “Life of Brian”): Suicide Squad Leader: We are the Judean People’s Front crack suicide squad! Suicide squad, attack! <>[they all stab themselves]<> Suicide Squad Leader: That showed ’em, huh? ——————————Brian: I’m not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand? Honestly! Girl: Only the true Messiah denies His divinity. Brian: What? Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah! Followers: He is! He is the Messiah! Brian: Now, fuck off!PS. I see Mustapha hasn’t changed: he still peddles the official Neocon/Saudi party line…You’re right Rambler: Beirut’s resident Orientalist DJ Michael Agha Al Young would surely be proud of him!

  5. sillybahrainigirl · · Reply

    LOL! That was a good tongue-in-cheek read! Thanks for sharing 🙂

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